June 16, 2016. At age 26, I had a hysterectomy.
At 5:35 am we left the hotel parking lot to go to the hospital for my check-in. It was about a 15 minute drive and I was silent the entire ride there. I wasn't upset or angry, I just needed to take that time to get myself together so that I wouldn't fall apart.
The million thoughts that ran through my head were enough to keep anyone silent. How long would the surgery take? What would happen if I get in the room and something goes wrong? How is Gracen going to respond to all this when she sees me? What about Kendal? Is he really ok?
But as we pulled up to the hospital, I could feel peace falling over me. It was nothing but the spirit of God dwelling inside of me. You see, the Holy Ghost is meant to be a comforter: that was the entire purpose for being left behind in the absence of Jesus Christ on Earth. The reality was that I was VERY uncomfortable so I was allowing the Holy Ghost to intercede and comfort me.
So many times in our lives, we push the Holy Sprit away because we won't admit that we're uncomfortable. Understand that being uncomfortable doesn't make me faithless. It actually increases my faith. The bible speaks of just having faith the size of a mustard seed. Well sometimes that's all the faith we have LEFT-but it's enough to label us faithful. (I just blessed myself🙌🏾) If faith is believing in what I can't see, being uncomfortable gives me a reason to have faith in the remedy for my situation. That faith then translates to wisdom; wisdom to allow the Holy Spirit to operate and wisdom to know that God's plan is perfect. God could've easily healed me from endometriosis and allowed me to give birth to the 3 children that my husband and I envisioned. He's God. He can do what he wants. Instead, God has decided to let me go through this peacefully and piece-full-y (whole) so that I can help others heal. It's emotional physical therapy. The purpose of physical therapy is to recondition muscles WHILE they heal. While I'm smack dab in the center of recovery, I'm making sure you're ok. That you are believing God now more than ever and that you are believing God for the faith to keep walking when a miraculous healing isn't what you need. It's what we all want, but it's not always what we need. Had he healed me of endometriosis, I would've thanked him for the other few children and kept it moving. My physical healing would've become an afterthought. I know me! We so soon forget what He's done and concentrate on what we need him to do. But because I'm incapable of giving birth to another child, for the rest of my child-bearing years I have a healing testimony to tell.
I pray God's choice blessing on each of you. No matter what situation you stand in front of, always remember that God has ordained your healing for any situation. It's different for each of us but for EVERYTHING God has designated strength for your struggle.
Until next time, The SanctiFly Chick 😘